Any parent will know going out to eat with young children is only for those who are gluttons for punishment. If you are lucky you can make a reservation, but then you have to remember that this is Portland and brunch is a “thing”. Especially brunch at anywhere besides Shari’s or IHOP. For additional torture, we have decided to go to Screen Door. Yes, the one that always has a line that wraps around the corner. How was this accomplished you ask? Only by showing up before the place has even opened. At 8 AM on a Monday.

We sit down at a spot for 6, something that can only be wish for at any other time. Luckily it is a half booth which is both good and bad news with a toddler. The good news is that you don’t have to deal with a high chair, which for a two year old is like a straight jacket. The bad news is, now the toddler is between you in the booth and has the freedom to grab hold of the butter packets, hot sauce, and slip underneath the table like an eel. At least the baby is asleep and the gap between the table and booth fits the carseat.


The rest of the family arrives, causing obvious angst that can only be alleviated by clinging to one parent or the other, squeezing into your lap and hiding their face. This will happen even if they met them already and played with them the day before. But then, as soon as they realize this can be a source of attention tiny fingers begin to slap and pinch your cheeks, punctuated by demonic giggles.

Continue Reading